Tag Archives: Twitter

Wisdom from a girl named George

After my first few days of blog blitz, my one or two readers may or may not have noticed a rather lengthy (well, half of the life of my blog) absence. It’s not that I ran out of things to rant about, because *believe me* we’re not going to get rid of the idiots that easily. No, I spent a few days fighting with my internal demons instead of the external ones. At times like that, sure I could rant my face off, but it would be coming from such a disingenuous place that I just couldn’t do it. I may call myself a shitload of nasty names, but I refuse to let “hypocrite” be one of them . . . most of the time.

Anyhow. When I get into these “funks”, it feels like nothing in the world will get me out of them. I have learned, however, that if I ignore the universe’s subtle nudges, it decides to slap me across the face. It looks much like this, in my mind.

So, having ignored many supportive messages from friends, subtle reminders of why life is good, and the unexpected cancelling of my yoga class (I would TOTALLY have been using it for un-zenlike purposes), today I got quite the metaphorical face assault. Here’s what it looks like when the universe sets out to remind me that my life doesn’t entirely suck:

A bout of “middle of the night” insomnia kept me from waking up in time to walk the entire way to my appointment today (more of a gentle nudge to take better care of myself, but walking the whole way would have sucked, nonetheless). I opened my door to find a present from my neighbor “just because” she thought I might like it. A friend I love very dearly but seldom see was working at the tea shop I visit weekly (after the appointment) and shared not only a free tea, but some wonderful news. I came home to find an email from another dear friend who I haven’t heard from in a few years. It was one of those dreaded “forward this to x number of friends” emails, but the content of it was exactly what I needed to hear (read) in that moment, and featured many sparkly butterflies. (I promise a post soon on the significance of butterflies in my recovery).

These things may not seem earth-shattering, but when you’re feeling alone and hopeless, things like these can mean the difference between making a good choice and making a really shitty one.

Oh right! It would probably be a good idea to explain the significance of the title of this post. As much as I slammed Twitter in my last post, it really can be a positive thing. I follow an account called “Great Minds Quotes“. The one that fish-slapped me today was from the writer George Eliot:

“It will never rain roses: when we want to have more roses, we must plant more roses.” ~George Eliot

Exactly what I NEVER WANT TO DO in recovery: stop waiting for someone else to save me, and take responsibility for doing what I need to do to ensure that my future is “rosy” (I never promised I wouldn’t be cheesy).

By the way, this is George. She was born Mary Anne (or Mary Ann, or Marian, depending on your source) Evans. She wanted her books taken seriously, so she used a male pen name. How lucky are we that we live in a time when women can write as themselves and be taken seriously? It is amazing how far our society has come. This gives me hope that, some day, we who suffer from eating disorders can stand proud without fearing societal repercussions. Let’s be pioneer women in our time (but with better hairstyles, yes?)

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Filed under Blatherings, History Lessons, Inspiration

Things the “normies” don’t see

When your brain functions normally, you tend not to see things that scream out at the eating disordered mind like Jillian Michaels whenever she gets near a gym. (For the record, I LOVE Jillian Michaels, and am convinced that once you turn off the volume and watch her with subtitles, she actually makes a lot of good points).

Facebook. I spend a lot of time there (did I mention I have a lot of free time lately? Just making sure). Like everyone else, I check my messages, make sure my Sims haven’t died, and sift through the “OMG-Did-you-see-Beyonce-at-the-VMA’s-Here’s-the-video-And-Perez-posted-the-sonogram-picture-Vote-on-what-they-should-name-the-baby” posts to find out what my friends are up to while I . . . check my Facebook.

Lately, I’ve been reading the entire Facebook page, including groups I forgot I joined (Did that man ever donate $6 934 561 to whatever charity I clicked to “like”?) and learning info about friends I forgot I made at a random audition two years ago that neither of us booked. Doing things like that, and being able to make plans even when my phone is broken are two of the many reasons I “like” Facebook.

Now, in spite of all the wonderful things Facebook can do, I have discovered one big ol DISLIKE. Have you ever looked at the ads in the sidebar? Just beneath your “Events” (look down . . . WAAAAAY down) are sponsored ads. These ads are usually for things related to stuff you or your friends like on Facebook (right now I have an ad for a “Honda Civic Garage Party”, and one for Smirnoff Rocket, neither of which I am particularly interested in, so thanks, friends). Every once in a while, however, one will pop up advising me to join Weight Watchers.

My conscious (most of the time), intellectual (when my brain is in its “better fed” times) mind knows that Facebook can’t see me sitting at my computer and judge my weight. Invariably, however, that sneaky fucker ED (see first post if you wonder who this abusive boyfriend of mine is) tells me that obviously Facebook is telling me that I’ve gained too much weight (I haven’t) and that joining Weight Watchers would be good for me (it wouldn’t).

While I don’t personally believe in Weight Watchers (I think there is a way to eat healthily without counting and measuring . . . I’ll figure that one out eventually), I understand that it works for some people. So not knocking Weight Watchers. I just really don’t want to see its ads popping up on my computer. So what can I do about it (besides ranting on this blog)?

It turns out that if you let your mouse hover over these ads (not with the intention of clicking on them, of course) a little “x” appears in the upper right-hand corner which, if you click on it, allows you to “Report this ad”. Facebook then asks you: “You have removed this ad. Why didn’t you like it?” Usually, I just go with the “Against my views” button. I think, however, I’m going to start telling Facebook what’s REALLY on my mind. If you click the “Other” option, you can write in your reason. Next time I see one, Facebook is going to get an eyeful. Or maybe just a link to this blog post. That’ll show them for interrupting my Words With Friends game!

In other news, Twitter makes suggestions on “Who to Follow” that often include Weight Watchers, Herbal Magic and people whose profiles introduce them as ” . . . generally obsessed with fat loss and fitness“. So far, no luck on figuring out how to report these kind nudges. The only option on the “x” is “Hide”. FUCK YOU, TWITTER! I’M NOT HIDING ANYMORE!!!*

*I do love Twitter, as well. No intention of deleting my account anytime soon. Gotta know what George Takei is thinking . . . Oh my!

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Filed under Rantings