Tag Archives: Loneliness

No One Is Alone

Hi.

Remember me?

I write stuff sometimes. Sometimes it’s rant-y, sometimes it’s inspire-y, but lately it’s been nothing-y.

It gets hard sometimes, much like life. I haven’t felt like doing anything of late, let alone writing. Bedtimes have gotten earlier and earlier . . . if they got any earlier I would be sleeping at work. Life has felt pretty pointless, so there seemed no point to my rantings, and nothing was inspiring me.

I felt alone, and couldn’t see any way out of that. I’ve never felt like I could depend on anyone else, and had evidence piling upon evidence that people would abandon me when I needed them most. (I’m sure there was evidence to the contrary, but it’s hard to see in the dark).

Finally, there was nothing more I could do on my own to help myself. I had to let go and let other people figure out how to help me when I couldn’t find it for myself.

You know what? People were there. Strangers had words of kindness. Friends had distractions and company and wisdom. People who cared were there.

The issues that brought me to this place remain unresolved, yet I feel better.

Because I’m not alone.

Neither are you. Even if you feel like you have nobody in your life, nobody who cares, try reaching out. You might be surprised. If that doesn’t work for you, you know I’m here feeling the same way. I’ll always answer comments/emails (email address on “About Me”). Because no one is alone.

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Alone in the Universe

This recovery business is lonely.

I mean, I’m surrounded by people nearly all the time (except at home . . . and I seldom regret the choice to live alone) but it’s a different kind of lonely. The thoughts that go through my head make me feel like a freak. I don’t feel like I can ever answer the question “How are you?” honestly. Even if I wanted to tell people what’s going on with me, the fear of being judged by said people, or hurting said people stops me.

I can’t even cry out loud anymore. I could be crying my hardest next to you, and if you didn’t look at me, you’d never know.

As much as having people around who are going through similar struggles helps in the “I can relate” sense, nobody is there to hold my hand when things get rough. I’m not complaining – I’ve made my choices. Nobody can fight my battles for me, but sometimes I wish I had the courage to say, “This is what is wrong, this is what I’m going through, this is what I need from you” and to have someone there to hear it.

It’s a lonely world. Give hugs. Everybody needs one now and again, and chances are they won’t tell you when they need one most. And listen. Not just with your ears, but with your eyes and your whole being, too. People tell you a lot about themselves without speaking a word. No one is alone, but everyone is lonely sometimes. Let’s make it easier on each other.

 

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Filed under Blatherings