The other day I had a particularly nerdy thought, while looking at one of my larger scars:
I decided to add to the thought’s nerdiness by turning it into a hipster-esque picture quote. Enjoy!
This weekend, in addition to being Canada Day (and Jazz Fest, and some big soccer game, and, I’m told, a Rib Fest), is Toronto Pride. In solidarity, I dedicate this video to all my LGBT friends, and anyone who is struggling for acceptance in a far-too-often far-too-cruel world.
This video was created for some Pride celebration somewhere, in some year, and has made its way around the world, gay bar to gay bar, musical theatre student to musical theatre student, many times over. The song “I Just Wanna Dance” comes from Jerry Springer: The Opera. If you are offended by coarse language, well, I can’t imagine you’d still be reading my blog, but there is some coarse language in the song. If there are young’uns in your house, put on some headphones. There are some good lyrics in there, too.
And just fucking dance.
Today I bring you a metaphor, a video, a laugh, and an “awwwwww”.
Meet Hamlet. Hamlet is a mini pig. Best name for a pig ever. Hamlet has a goal: to eat his favorite food, oatmeal. Hamlet has an obstacle: fear. Fear of stairs, specifically.
I know, right?
Hamlet’s stair battle reminds me of fighting an eating disorder. He’s decided he wants the food. There are a lot of steps between him and his goal. He takes the first step then changes his mind. He runs away. His desire for the oatmeal wins out. He takes another step. And another. He hangs out on each step a little while, making sure he’s comfortable, working up his courage for the next one. The more steps he takes, the easier it gets. He’s taken many steps and succeeded, so he knows he can take another. Finally, he’s close enough to take that flying leap. Now, normally my misophonia makes me absolutely insane when I hear “mouth noises”, but COME ON! Is there anything better than a mini pig blissfully eating his well-earned oatmeal? Not much.
Except maybe finally enjoying your own oatmeal once you’ve gotten past the fear.
Is this metaphor a bit of a stretch? Maybe. But did the video brighten your day a little? I’d bet my steel cut oats on it.
Sometimes, I run out of words. But, when one runs out of words, one can always lip synch. Here’s a little happy from the cast of Anything Goes on Broadway, featuring Liza’s daddy, Joel Grey, and the lovely and talented human being, Stephanie J. Block. Thanks for making me smile today.
Sometimes, the best way to fight fear is to laugh in its fucking face. This isn’t always possible, I know, but sometimes it makes things better.
Like, this one time? In treatment? They decided to feed us potato chips at lunch. That’s probably my biggest fear food in the world. T-cat, I know you’ll remember this one . . . So, I was in a wacky mood that day (probably all the drugs they put me on to make me more manageable, but that’s another post . . . ) and decided that, rather than freak out, I would put on a bad French accent and verbally abuse each potato chip before I’d eat it. Sounds crazy, no? Well, just remember that I was in a LOCKED DOWN FACILITY WITH A BUNCH OF SQUIRREL GIRLS (aka “nuts”). So basically, I would say things like
“Look at you, you stupid potato chip. You’re all bent over because your osteoporosis has crippled your back. Eat some dairy, you stupid chip!”
“Look at you, you stupid potato chip. You’ve got a big air bubble poking out the side. That’s because you’re bloated because you wrecked your ability to digest food, you stupid potato chip!”
I know. It’s not the wittiest banter ever. Nor was it particularly rule-abiding, as we had a “no food talk at the table” policy. Sometimes, though, a little humor (or humour) goes a long way. Every person at that table ate their potato chips with a smile on their face, only choking occasionally from laughter.
Now, if you’re looking for someone a little wittier to model your fear-fighting funnies after, I recommend my latest discovery, DJ Flula. He has many wonderful youtube videos, but here’s his most on-topic one:
Please do enjoy, and watch his many other videos mit lots of logik.
I don’t know about you, but in recovery, if something goes wrong anywhere in my body, I immediately blame it on food. Greasy hair? Must be from the fact that I have fat in my diet now. Sweaty? Stupid food makes my body chemistry weird. Zits? Must be something I’m eating, because my skin was gloriously clear when I was sick . . . if ashen and yellow and dry.
But seriously . . . the zits were bothering me. I never really had a problem with them in my youth . . . I started a skin care regimen when I was twelve, and have maybe missed 2 nights of face-washing since then. I had a smattering of zits on my chin, nose, and forehead during puberty, but never more than 2 or 3 at a time. If you saw me the past couple of weeks, however, you’d think I had washed my face in a deep fryer. I kept checking AuthenticSelfWellness.com and searching “acne” to see which foods Margaux suggests may cause facial explosion, or what I was missing in my diet that was making me look like I was sporting the very on-trend leopard print on my face.
I played around with upping my B12 intake, reducing my almond intake (not restrictive . . . replaced with cashews), but to no avail. The zits had overtaken my freckles.
Then I got my very spotty head out of my ass, and started to consider other causes. In an effort to save money this summer, I’ve been going through that box that we all have full of products we tried and didn’t like, but couldn’t bring ourselves to throw out. I had two cleansers in there, and when the first was finished (with minimal zitting), I switched to the 2nd . . . for oily skin . . . which I do not have . . . that may or may not have made my last move with me two years ago . . .
So I bit the bullet and bought a cleanser I knew I liked once upon a time. Within two days, my face was almost completely clear again. Hmmmmmmmm.
So, while food may seem like the cause of most of the problems in an eating disordered life, sometimes you have to look to external factors to see where your problems are really coming from. Pretty good metaphor, huh? I thought so.