Angry Dance

Seriously. That’s a song title from a musical. Very to-the-point, Sir Elton.

I don’t know if it’s anger or frustration or what, but today is one of those days when I just want to search and destroy. The child in me wants to shred things and bite things and throw things and scream. Alas, I can’t scream. It’s a physical impossibility.

What is the answer to anger expression when you’re an adult? I only know how to express it in unhealthy ways by turning it inwards (that’s usually its origin, anyways, so it’s a short turn). I’d do an angry dance, but everything always ends up too balletic, and that doesn’t exactly lend itself to the expression of anger . . . more the expression of “My, what a pretty flower!” I used to belt my face off (sing), but I’m limited on soundproof spaces, and my deteriorating vocal technique just makes me angrier.

So what does one do with anger when temper tantrums are no longer an option? I suspect tearing my yoga mat along its “Align” lines isn’t the answer . . .

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7 Comments

Filed under Rantings

7 responses to “Angry Dance

  1. Jennifer

    Scream really really loud into a pillow. At least, try to. Punch it. Punch the bed. Scribble the angriest letter you can possibly write to…..Ed? I guess you’d have to decide who to write it to…..Hmm…what else. One time I punched a picture frame. Don’t do that.

  2. Kelly,

    I’m not sure if this resonates with you or not, but I was introduced to this 3-step technique yesterday. I am a very positive person on the outside, but every once in a while my Inner Fiend (aka Inner Critic, Inner Little Bas+ard) starts yelling at me that I’m not good enough, and I need to deal with him.

    Step 1 – let the Inner Fiend have centre stage. rant like hell, get it all out. What else do you want to say, you little bugger, you have centre stage, go ahead. Write it down if you like, and just let her keep going until she has nothing else to say.

    Step 2 – close your eyes and take a deep breath. Now let your Inner Child (Inner Wisdom, Inner “Biggest Fan”) take centre stage. She knows that you’re more than good enough. Let her speak as well until she’s finished.

    Step 3 – do a physical movement (hand on heart, eyes to the sky, hug yourself, whatevs) and repeat back what your Inner Child said using “I am” phrases. I am good enough, I am loveable, I am worthy, I do love myself.

    When I did this yesterday, I actually got goose bumps at Step 3. Hope it helps you (and your readers).

    Namaste, Ken

  3. Kelly,
    I too get very angry, not usually a feeling I was used to, but now I get so angry at ED (hideous beast) destroying my daughter in front of my own eyes that sometimes I don’t know what to do. However, I find I get so angry at ED I cry, but then I just end up with a headache so for sure deep breaths always help, but doing what you’re doing, writing, always seems to help me.
    Go outside or to a park and watch the birds, they always seem to make peace, in fact I have a little bird house and these two birds are always on the deck railing mating, it is quite funny. If your not a bird watcher you should have a watch at them, they really are so cool, I always wondered why we (humans) weren’t given wings to fly like that.
    Rambling, sorry, but the bird watching does take my anger away most times, Good luck with the rest of your day!!
    By the way, I go purposely to my email now to read your next blog, absolutely love them.
    See ya
    Caroline

    • Hi Caroline,
      Thank you for the message. I love birds. I have one tattooed on my hip. Birds and flight have always resonated with me.
      I often think of your daughter, and I remember how lovely and strong she was as a child. It will probably take a lot of time, but I believe she has it in her to beat the hideous beast.
      Sending love,
      Kelly

  4. Hi Kelly. I find that the acknowledgement I FEEL angry rather than I AM angry has been an important distinction for me. When we tell our bodies and spirit that we ARE something it reinforces it. Our emotions are meant to come and go – don’t make ’em stick. Visualizing an inner tantrum has also been effective for me. I allow myself to choose this at times because I know that the “me” that wants to have the tantrum is a “me” at a much younger age anyway (inner child). So, I will allow that girl to do her thing because that is what she needs and then I (as my adult self) reassure and work with her to sort out the real issue. I ask her to help me answer “what is this” and “when was this”. By having the inner child and inner parent work together I steer much clearer of dwelling on something unproductive.

    Thank you for giving me a space to share that. I love you.

    Kath

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