Some days . . . well, most days . . . recovery is really fucking hard. You’ve crossed that hump where you don’t cry into your bowl of food 3-5 times/day, you’ve accepted that you can never be happy looking at your ass in a mirror again (really, were you ever happy with it at any weight?), and you’re generally making more pro-recovery choices than anti. Physically, your body probably feels better than it ever has. No injuries from over-exercising, no hunger pangs keeping you awake, everything starting to level out.
SO WHY DO YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT?!?!?!?
Yup. All that “underneath” crap is still there. You probably don’t even know fully what it is . . . you just know that without your eating disorder to distract you, everything else is hitting you like a fucking brick to the nose. That’s right. Lots of pain, unable to stop the tears, maybe even some blood . . . a fucking brick to the nose.
So while you’re trying to sort through all this shit, you’re gonna need something to hang on to. For some people, that’s religion. Full stop. I won’t get into religion here . . . today, at least. Some people have family to cling to. Sometimes, though, you feel pretty fucking alone. I’m guessing that’s why most of you have found your way here . . . the internet has a way of bringing lonely people sitting in baggy sweats and fuzzy slippers together in a way that would never happen if said people wore said ensembles in public.
Lately, I’ve been frequenting two sites in particular. Minds out of the gutter, ladies . . . and gentlemen. (I recently discovered I have a male reader! Hi Kevin!) One site, StumbleUpon, is good for finding cool shit. The other, Pinterest, is good for cataloguing said shit.
What does this have to do with anything, Kelly? (you may ask) And I will tell you. Sometimes when distracting yourself from general misery and that feeling of aloneness, you find cool shit that makes you smile. Or makes you think. Or makes you cry. Or just plain makes you feel something that you can identify, and the ability to do that sometimes gives you hope that one day you may be able to identify and sort through the rest of the shit.
So, here are some of my latest favorites. May your emotions be activated, and your shit easily sorted.
Mae Chevrette Art
One Man Disney Movie
Favorite fellow ginger:
I Love . . . Her!
If you decide to Stumble or Pin, please share your favorites with me. I can always use some distraction or inspiration . . . or just to know that someone else is wearing sweatpants more socially unacceptable than mine . . .