Sometimes, the best way to fight fear is to laugh in its fucking face. This isn’t always possible, I know, but sometimes it makes things better.
Like, this one time? In treatment? They decided to feed us potato chips at lunch. That’s probably my biggest fear food in the world. T-cat, I know you’ll remember this one . . . So, I was in a wacky mood that day (probably all the drugs they put me on to make me more manageable, but that’s another post . . . ) and decided that, rather than freak out, I would put on a bad French accent and verbally abuse each potato chip before I’d eat it. Sounds crazy, no? Well, just remember that I was in a LOCKED DOWN FACILITY WITH A BUNCH OF SQUIRREL GIRLS (aka “nuts”). So basically, I would say things like
“Look at you, you stupid potato chip. You’re all bent over because your osteoporosis has crippled your back. Eat some dairy, you stupid chip!”
“Look at you, you stupid potato chip. You’ve got a big air bubble poking out the side. That’s because you’re bloated because you wrecked your ability to digest food, you stupid potato chip!”
I know. It’s not the wittiest banter ever. Nor was it particularly rule-abiding, as we had a “no food talk at the table” policy. Sometimes, though, a little humor (or humour) goes a long way. Every person at that table ate their potato chips with a smile on their face, only choking occasionally from laughter.
Now, if you’re looking for someone a little wittier to model your fear-fighting funnies after, I recommend my latest discovery, DJ Flula. He has many wonderful youtube videos, but here’s his most on-topic one:
Please do enjoy, and watch his many other videos mit lots of logik.